Up, Down and Sideways…

History repeats itself. Here I sit at 2:39 in the morning, wondering just what I did wrong in this life to make God mad at me. I have spent the evening in the local ER again trying to save my sisters life. She collapsed during dinner tonight. It was everything we could do to get her into her room and in bed. This was after two falls yesterday and the EMT/Fire Department arriving to help me pick her up off the floor. They came back this evening and it took four guys to get her on the cot. Then I had the fastest ambulance trip I have ever been on. Lights and sirens the whole way. The whole time Cathy is unresponsive. After hours of tests, it was determined that she had pnemonia in both lungs. When I left to come home she was stable even though still unresponsive. I had just walked in the door when the phone rang. It was the ER Doctor calling to tell me she had taken a dive south and he had put her on a respirator and was going to be in ICU. Bless her heart she has had such a rough life. She has been sick so much of her life, spent so much time in hospitals, on life support numerous times, rehabs, nursing homes - and she is only 58. My heart goes out to her.

Two weeks ago we found her a miniature dachshund puppy. She had quit smoking the last hospital round and in return we told her we would find her a puppy. She had dogs for many years and has wanted one for quite a long time. She decided what breed, so the search was on. Well, as I said, “Sammy” came to live with us and be a loving friend to my sister. He bonded with her immediately. Even though there are always people coming and going and dogs around and loving from all angles, he chose Cathy to be his surrigate mother. He stayed next to her or laid on her from the very first moment they met. I am so thankful! He is so lost this evening without her being here.

And yep, out of a job again. I was so shocked! After much discussion it was determined that I threatened my new boss because I was more versed with software than she. So instead of being glad that I knew what I did and taking advantage of my knowledge and willingness to help, she got nervous that I might make her look bad. What ya gonna do? In a way I felt like it was God stepping in and taking charge knowing that I was needed to help with my sister and mother.

Sooooo, I have taken advantage of the time and started sewing again. I had forgotten how much I enjoyed putting the pieces of the puzzle together and coming out with a beautiful outfit for my granddaughter. As a matter of fact I have made enough outfits from fabric I had already purchased that she will not need to have any clothes purchased to get her through the summer other than a swimsuit and flip flops. I may not be making money, but I sure am helping save it. Besides, there is so much instant gratification with sewing. You see the end result so much faster than knitting. Don’t get me wrong - I LOVE to knit. It is just nice to do something different for a change.

Well, I think I am going to go put lydacain patches on my shoulder (from where I pulled the muscle trying to keep Cathy from falling), put on a meditation cd and try to get calmed down so that I can get some sleep before I have to start another hectic day.

I do believe I have said before “Bad things happen to good people”, but it is worth saying again.

Namaste,

Deborah

Limited Knitting…

Yes, I am back to work. And I like it! So that means my knitting is back to nights and weekends. Slows that down a bit. I have 3 pair of socks on the needles, along with 2 blankets. I also bought enough cotton yarn to knit market (grocery) bags for every house in my subdivision. There are approximately 60 houses and I have 1 done. Think I will be knitting for awhile. Fortunately it only takes a couple of evenings to completely knit a bag.

I started a pair of socks for a friend of mine that recently lost her job as well. I am not sure that I like the pattern I chose, and even though I have about 4 inches done (toe up), I think I might frog them (2 on 2 circs) and use like a flame pattern instead of a lace. Think it will show off the colors better. I looked long and hard for just the right yarn cause she wanted hot pink and bright purple. I found it!

Spring has come to NC. Along with allergy season. I NEVER had allergies until I moved here. I love everything about here but that. Guess I will have to find a way to live with it though cause don’t think I will be going anywhere soon - unless this kills me. Was looking forward to camping but now not so sure. Came out of work today and my gun-metal gray car was yellow!!!!

Guess I will go knit for a little while. Maybe I can get one pair done this weekend.

Namaste,

Deb

Spring! I see signs of Spring!!!

I have decided that winter is OVER! Pear trees are blooming. Forsythia is showing yellow. Daffodils are out. I hung laundry out on the line yesterday. Yep, spring is here. Boy am I glad.

I have not been successful in my attempts to find employment; however, I have not given up. As a matter of fact, I have an appointment here in about 1 1/2 hours. I know, I should be getting ready for that instead of here writing. Oh well, I am who I am and I know what I know, they will either like it or not.

How can I help the earth to be more eco friendly? That was the question on my mind one night this last week. It just kept running around and around in my head. You hear all the time that one person can make a difference, so I figured it was time for this one person to do their part. Soooo, I came up with this idea that I thought was pretty good. I have decided to make “Market Bags” out of 100% cotton and give 2 bags to each household in my subdivision. I knit and crochet and tried making one and it took me less than 1 day (along with all the other odds and ends that I did) to finish a bag. So maybe, this time this fall, there will be 120 less plastic bags used on a weekly basis in the neighborhood. You know, that means 480 bags a month, and 6,720 bags a year! Maybe I can do something. I am trying to enlist the help of 3 of my neighbors who also knit and crochet. At first pass they thought I was crazy, but by the end of the evening, they were helping me create the pattern and locate the yarn. Powers of persuasion.

Well, guess for today, I need to quit and go get dressed to impress. What a joke.

Namaste,

Deborah

The proverbial statement “When it rains, it pours” - I say it is TRUE!

I have quite a bit I would like to write, some pics I would love to post, but it is 3:01 a.m. and I am running out of steam. Call this a teaser if you will. More to come on the morning edition.

Namaste To This Fickle World We live In,

Deborah

Sometimes Life Just Doesn’t Seem Fair

Life… I have heard that you never get more than you can handle but you know, sometimes I wonder who said that. How did they know? I am beginning to belive that I just don’t buy that line. Don’t get me wrong. Good things happen - just enough to give you hope amongst all the crap that life hands you.

My sister has been in the hospital for two weeks. Had surgery on her leg. I had to finally ask for the Charge Nurse and explain that I had power of attorney in order to find out what was going on with her. Found out they had discontinued a medicine that she had been on for over 20 years. Idiots. You just can’t do that! At least without having complications. It is now almost 2:00 a.m. I have been waiting since 7:00 p.m. for a nurse/doctor to call me back. Think I will get a call? I don’t think so. Take this whole comment as advice - if you have medical issues you have to take control of the situation yourself because no one knows your body or your history better than you do yourself. They may know medicine but you know you. Without the two working together things can get ugly. I have over 25 years of dealing with this - I believe I can say I speak from experience.

The next issue I have to expound on is the ethics and morals of employers in this day and age. I was brought up to give my job my all. Do the best job I could. Have loyalty for the people I worked for. If it took working all night to get a project done; then just do it. Then your loyalty would be rewarded by their belief and loyalty in you. Something terrible has happened in our work place world. The head lines today are where 5 people were shot in a Lane Bryant Store in IL. There was an old song that went “And just what did I do to piss you off this time Sweetie?” What about the other 3 people who had absolutely nothing to do with what was going down; they were just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

I have also heard the old saying “you are where you need to be; when you need to be there.” Does that mean you did something else so bad that you deserved to die and here was your chance. Just follow your instincts and go to Lane Bryant and pop out of the dressing room in clothes that don’t fit, cost a lot of money - the guy with the gun sees you and thinks you look like crap too so bam, you are now history.

I waunder a little. I am out of work. They say it is me. I say it is them. For the first time in my life a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I do not have the bull crap, nor the paranoid, micro-manager standing over my shoulder all of the time. It is a durn good thing cause I would not have had time to deal with their petty little b.s. problems while I am trying to save my sisters life. I was told once that our generation is labeled “the sandwich generation” because on the one hand we are still getting our kids on their feet, out of college, married, kids, house, independent (hha ha ha ha ha ha ) and at the same time we have our parents/older siblings moving in needing the caring, time, love, and patience that you though you had just gotten rid of with the kids. The funny part of this is now you have all of them depending on you for direction. Todd and I have been together for 17 years. Out of that time, we have had 2 years (make that semesters) that we didn’t have anyone living with us. Not sure I would know how to act.

How many people out there have had to deal with the IRS in their infinite wisdom recently? I actually heard that some of them had a heart! Could it be???? This is just another story that goes on and on and on. I wrote a letter… maybe someone will read it and take pity on me. I wrote the God’s truth as I know it to be - guess I wait for God’s associates to make a judgement call. (shoulds a little like Matrix doesn’t it?

Will have to start looking for a new job SOON. Money doesn’t go as far as it used to. Heck who am I trying to kid - it has never gone far enough. Another piece of this puzzle is that I am getting older - “All my rowdy friends have rowdied on down” and that is a fact. Used to have plenty of people that would be right in the midst of the dispute and later claim it was fun, fired up enough to figure another way to go at them. Now, it is just me and I just want them to go away and leave me the he** alone. The younger ones around me have no concept of how to get into and out of shit without getting caught. I think my brother was one of the best and he was my mentor. I miss the heck out of him. If even just to have a chance to sit back on the water and have a strawberry daqari and “dream a little dream with him”. He would pick me up at the airport and fly me to New Orleans just to party on Bourbon Street for the night. We would race 4 wheel drives up mud tracks at Dolly Sods in the middle of the night just for kicks to see who would get there first. Never much thought about not making it - we always did. The adventure has left my life - to be replaced with responsibilities, and the crap that life hands out.

Thank God my husband has learned how to read my emotions over the years. I know he does love me. I know my family loves me. That is the advantage I have over everyone else out there - I still have that solid rock around me. It is unfortunate that the wall is starting to crack a little here and there. Thought I had a big hole in it after my brother and dad passed away. it pretty much shook my foundation. But the people left bonded together and we are a family unit - you know the kind that used to be around in the 1800’s. Just right now I have some weak links and I am not really sure how to strengthen them or if they can be fixed at all. We will make it. We have all learned lessons from this latest blast of inhuman treatment. My momma says that makes a better person of you. Well, if that is the case, look out world cause I am getting geared up to start fighting back. I am getting backed into a corner and will have no other options. Hang with me guys.

Where Have I Been????

Knitting!!!!  I have had computer problems over the past 2 months and so have happily spent the time knitting away.  I have finished 4 scarfs, 2 doiley’s, and 3 pairs of socks.  I have almost completed a “Winds of Weekapaug” sweater in a beautiful Pansey colorway bolce from Yarntopia.  I also have just a cap sleeve to complete for a “Silk Corset” done with ArtYarns silk in greens, and pinks.  Another doiley underway, this one in deep burgundy named “Heavenly Delight”.  Amazing what you can get done when you don’t have a computer to poke around on!

I finally got my invite to Ravelry and have throughly enjoyed traversing the site.  It is so cool to find a pattern and actually see what other people have done with it.  The types of yarns they chose and how the different knitters interpret and visualize the patterns.  Such talented people.  If I keep trying I may be considered a good knitter one day.  I can see the improvement myself and just how far I have come.  Also makes me aware of how far I have to go and there are so many types of stitches I want to try and yarns that I love to feel.  And talk about color - God makes my eyes smile when I see such beautiful colors put together.  That is such a talent in itself.  I will leave the dying up to the ones that are experienced in that.  I have enough to learn on the knitting side.

To all of my friends that I have neglected over the past months, know that I have not forgotten you. :)  Maybe I am knitting something for you!  You never know.  But that brings up the issue that some people just do not like hand made items.  They just don’t appreciate the time it takes to knit a pair of socks.  I read on one of my forums about a lady that had worked so hard on a baby blanket for her new grandchild.  When she gave the gift to her daughter in law she knew that she was not impressed.  Unfortunately, when she visited she found her beautiful blanket used on the dogs bed.   I thought that was so sad.

Now I am going to go back to my knitting.

Just Another Day

Today started out like any other Monday. I was a little more optimistic about the day because I had left on Friday (after 13 hours) in pretty good shape. However, I should have known that it - like most days - never goes the way you think. These people in life who plan their day, their life, and it works amazes me. How do they get the day to cooperate like that? Probably because I allow myself to be at the whim of whoever gets to me first. And then second, and then sometimes I get a little of what I want done in there somewhere. I did get a lot accomplished but not as much as I would have liked.

I woke up in the middle of the night with my chin numb. What a strange sensation. Then my blood pressure has been fairly high for days now. So I broke down and called the doctor and made an appointment. I will be glad if for nothing else than to get rid of this stupid headache. I wonder if you can make this page a different color than white while you are typing? Might try to play with it and find out. I have been knitting a baby afghan that is turning out so pretty. I should be working on that instead of typing here - didn’t realize I would end up here. But after trying to get my email through Outlook and it not working, I had to go on the internet in order to read my mail. And in my mail was a response from this site because I had forgotten my password. Well, since they gave me a password here I am typing away. I will be back sooner than I have been, and hopefully typing something more of interest. Head hurts too much to see all this white!

Finally Pictures of the Sweater!

O.K.  A month has gone by and I am just now looking at this thing.  Only because I was reading Kristen’s blog and she had a link to mine.  Yes, as usual, I have been knitting.  I finally got my mom’s socks done.  They turned out really nice.  They actually match.  I found out that I have been knitting wrong - well what I thought was a regular knit stitch turned out that I have been knitting in the back post.  Everything turns out pretty.  I am going to try to learn the correct way this weekend.  I get to start a new project!  It will be another pair of socks I just haven’t figured out which pattern or which yarn.  Should I do the socks for my mother-in-law that will be made out of really pretty colorways in blues, purples, greens; should I use the sold periwinkle blue that will show off a complex pattern; maybe the hand-dyed fingering weight wools that are in rich burgundy and brown colors that I picked out especially for a vintage pattern that uses size 1 straight needles.  I have the clown cotton yarn that my granddaughter picked out for socks and a hat.  Those are just the sock options.  Then I have several hat patterns that I want to make for Caps for a Cure.  It might be fun to do a hat for a change.

I did have Kris model the finally finished sweater project and I took pictures, but where they are I haven’t a clue.  Hold on and let me go look and see if I can find one to put up and show.

      

I did it!  I figured out how to get the picture in here (Kris helped me).  Anyway, I have to go teach a little girl how to write “f” and “g”

 Namaste,

Deb

Where oh where have I been?

I have wanted to write in my journal, no time…  I have wanted to answer emails, no time…  I have wanted to read a book, no time…  I have wanted to watch a funny movie, no time…  Knit, knit, knit and knit somemore.  I have this compulsion to finish some projects.  I am tired of looking at all of these wonderful projects still on the needles.

I started working on a sweater for my daughter.  She found a picture of a sweater that she fell in love with.  After further checking, we found the price of said sweater was over $350.00 which in my case was extremely daunting.  O.K.  Look really, really close at the picture… Yep, I think I can do that.  (I have never knitted a sweater in my life.)  Was I overly optimistic?  Probably.  The second problem was she found a yarn that was soooooooo soft, not overly expensive, made in Italy, and she was willing to pay for the yarn.  What was I to do other than attack the project head on with sheer determination and a wonderful spot on the web that has videos and knitting abbreviations.  For those interested the web site is www.knittinghelp.com - wonderful site.

O.K.  I have yarn, I have a picture, I know knit and purl and have a book on how to do cable.  I also know how to sew (some) so I thought all I have to do is make the fabric (knit) and sew it together. :O  Great birthday present - I started in September, her birthday is December.  It came and went.  Christmas?  Nope - new job - 10-12 hour days.  Valentines Day for sure!  Nope.  But I did finally make it for St. Patrick’s day!  Of course the sweater is off white - not a speck of green.  The main thing is, I finally finished the silly thing and it LOOKS LIKE THE PICTURE!!!!  Well, almost.  I used a different type of cable pattern, but other than that, pretty darn close.  I am so proud of myself I can hardly stand it.

In between frustrations on the sweater, I also worked on two doileys, finished a pair of socks, have two additional pair of socks on needles, finished two chemo caps for Caps For A Cure, which is a great program, completed an afghan for the friend that acted as my reference in order for me to get this wonderful job (I haven’t mailed it yet..)  Can anyone tell I am a procrastanator?  I have great intentions but knitting and my granddaughter take up all my time.  I love her so much.  Let me see if I can find a picture to show something I have done.

 I just read my previous post and realized I was ranting about this sweater then, too.  Oh well, it should be over soon - as soon as I get a picture of it (hopefully on her) on here.

Knit Knit Knit

I have been working on a sweater for my daughter for about 4 months.  She saw a picture of one in a catalog and fell in love with it; however it was ONLY $350.00.  I figured I could make that!  Having never knitted a sweater before that was rather bold on my part.

Well, here we are - seeral months later and it is done - well (99.5% I still have only little seam to sew up and attached the shoulder bands).  However, I was up until 5:00 a.m. working on this silly sweater cause it was looking so good and I was so close.

 Now I am exhausted - today was only half as productive as I had planned and now everything I had planned to do today has now been pushed to tomorrow.  As soon as I can I will have kristen make me some pictures of the finished project so I can post them and let everyone see.  Not to bad for my second piece.  Hope everyuone is enjoyin gtheir weekend.

Namaste,

Deborah